Self Portrait
Ask Yourself How Do You Feel?

The Past Eighteen Hours

The past eighteen ours have been extremely horrible and extremely beautiful at the same time. I made my yearly pilgrimage to Mary's greenhouse & filled the back of my husband's truck with all kinds of beautiful plants.

For those new to the blog - although it is called Mary's Greenhouse, she has 52 of them, enough to get lost in and for sure enough to deplete ANY savings you might have at the bank.

Mary's greenhouse

My favorite purchase was this flowering Quince. I planted most of my newly purchased plants, but I am still waiting to find just the right spot for this one. it needs to be close enough to the house so that I can, at a moments notice, run out there and sketch it. Isn't it glorious?

Flowering Quince

Just as I was admiring all the beauty I got sideswiped with the news of the bombing at the Boston Marathon. What on earth? Why? I am devastated by it. I used to live on Newbury St., no less than a block from where the first bomb went off, and I remember how my friends and I always gathered there to watch the runners making it to the finish line. I don't understand. I am left with only pain for everyone involved. My husband turned up the volume on the news. I had to leave the house. I left to find faith in this world, to focus on the beautiful.

I drove down the road to Wayne's farm. His new colt was born the night before last. I can only understand about 1/3 of whatever Wayne says to me - his southern accent is that thick. From what I could make out, this little colt is a mix between a horse and a mule? The unbelievable softness of his coat began to soften the blow of Boston. 

Wayne's horse:mule

This morning the Boston cloud still was hanging low. I did not turn on the news for I knew that doing so would not help to ease the suffering of all those beautiful people, in Boston, who are looking to the heavens looking for answers. What is wrong with this world?

I do not know.

At all.

I can only know, without a shadow of a doubt, what is right.

I went down to the lake this morning as soon as the girls were off to school.

Being down at the lake let me see what is right with the world.

Although I fumbled with my lack of skills, I attempted to paint the beauty before me.

Down by the lake 4:15:2013

When I was done with one attempt, I painted another. I need to come back here, again. To remind myself, again.

Down by the lake 4:15:2013 #2

I headed back up to the studio and pulled out a fresh, white canvas, and propped it up on my easel. I thought it might be a good idea to video tape myself painting so that you could see how I go about it. I looked back at the videos ... mmm... I kind of hate the way I look in them ... really hate it. Not sure if I should share them. Are you interested in that kind of thing? We will have to wait and see.

Back at the studio

The beautiful sunshine is quickly becoming a storm, I can see it coming across the valley. I must run out and fix that pursulane that I had planted yesterday that some critter over turned during the night - it reminds me of how I share this earth, this world, and can not escape into oblivion.

Storm coming in

I guess that is what this blog is all about. Sharing this world with you. I am grateful. Still.

Carolina

 

Comments

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Elizabeth Mackey

I have no words for what happened yesterday :( Seems like April is a month of beauty tinged with sadness. When you think about all the major bad things in recent history, April is the month. I wonder why that is?
It truly is gorgeous out today, with the sun streaming through all the beautiful new bright green leaves, without a cloud in the sky! The sadness sure does taint it though I must say, because the news can be everywhere it seems.

I love your watercolor painting :)

Mari

Beatiful pictures! I have this idea that you live in a landscape painting and I in an collage.
I saw Madonna on Ellen show where she said something like that the satisfaction will never come, that no matter how long you work as an artist you will never reach the level you are aiming for. It is an youtube, beginning of part 2 of the show if you would like to watch that little snippet in the middle of the lighter entertainment.

Eva

I love what you said about not being able to understand what is wrong with this world, only what is right. You put my feelings into words. xo, Eva

suzi

So interesting that you had to turn away from this news. Even here half a world away tragedy takes over from beauty and we find ourselves staring at a screen emmiting images for our eyes, that our human minds cannot imagine or comprehend, I wonder if we aren't addicted to the drama. It's a drama alright for the families of loved ones who've suffered loss of life, loss of limb in such an innocent moment, a moment of hope that running and competing for fun can bring. But we who are bystanders, standing by, looking on helplessly, feel strangely selfish for turning away and bowing our heads, when really in honour of those that have fallen, getting up, getting on, pursuing with renewed vigour the gifts that we have to share in this life, should be embraced. If we as artists turn our heads, it's not out of disrespect, but out of sensitivity, for we feel the pain and help lead the way. Others who stand and stare each time this happens, do nothing for no one except those that need an audience to inspire such acts. Turning away cannot eliminate the evil aspects of what it is to be human, but it can weaken their desire for fame or the effect of using such means for their cause.

Well done you for going to buy plants to bring new growth, to see fowls being born and painting the day, all those seemingly simple acts go to make up a beautiful day. Each beautiful day that each one of us can live, will bring the hope that this world needs. Thank you for showing us how.

Christine Phelps

Hi Carolina -

I just sent you a Facebook request and a private message - it went to your "other" box - I too am taking the Lilla Rogers Course and wanted to reach out and introduce myself and also ask you a question.

Hope to connect with you - Christine

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